The Great Deceit

Lately in my church we've been talking a lot about the concept of contempt. All of the sudden it is everywhere for me. Including in me. That would be a useful lens through which to view the rest of this.

The thought that I am better than someone else, or the realization that everyone, and i mean everyone, feels superior on some level to the person next to them, absolutely infuriates me. I feel like looking right in the person's face and asking them just who the fuck they think they are? Sometimes this question is best asked while looking in a mirror.

What gives any of us the right to look at another human being and think that we have it together more, or the best way, or the right answers. Really? At one point you were born, you were put in a crib beside 10 other little babies and you cried and crapped your pants like everyone of them. So at what point did you become superior. Was it at school? Was it on the playground? Was it at work? Wake up. You are human and therefore flawed. You are flawed just as much as the rest of us. You are flawed like a soldier is mortally wounded. And yet we walk around putting nice hats and clothes and designer bandages over these mortal wounds and all politely pretend not to notice. And with that designer bandage in place, we search for the next opportunity to look down on someone from our "higher level".

What is wrong with us? Why is this so blatantly driving so much of our culture. This competition, this pissing contest. I don't give a rip what kind of house you have, or car, or education, or family. If you are using it to try and elevate yourself above the people around you, you are doing yourself a disservice. In our effort to lift ourselves up in this way, we automatically drag ourselves down. Isn't this situation just dripping with irony?

Why do we turn to others to measure ourselves? We have so much fear and insecurity in this society. We are so afraid of being nobody that we try to make the people around us nobodies, as if this will somehow magically make us somebody by comparison. And that is the great deceit...the idea that we can build ourselves up by tearing others down. Who thought of this anyway? Who started this "comparison machine"? There is a serious lack of logic in this master plan. You don't become someone by pushing other people down around you. That will make you something...not someone. We make ourselves someone, we make ourselves special, unique, gifted, by lifting up those around us. By elevating those around us we elevate ourselves. We are all intrinsically connected. In South Africa they call this "ubuntu". The idea that we are all connected. The idea argues that by hurting those around you, you are really doing damage to yourself... and humanity, in it's entirety suffers. It is by giving that we gain, and it is by taking that we lose everything. Where did we get the idea that we needed to be this "someone" anyway? What is that "someone"? Successful? Rich? Beautiful? Desirable? Right? Brilliant?

I would think that being you would be enough anyway. If your not okay with that, and trying to alleviate this problem by trashing someone else, you'll be a bit put off by the result. This will not make you any better, it won't make you more desirable, or beautiful, or successful. On the contrary, it makes you disconnected, ugly, and poor in so many ways.

Think of anyone you have ever wanted to be like. Someone you truly wanted to emulate. If your motives are pure, the person was probably selfless, or well liked, or respected. One of the above at least. It's safe to say that they probably didn't get that by being an ass. So let's drop the fear that controls so many other areas of our lives. We will never attain any value from trying to strip others of theirs.

I know a guy here in abbotsford. I love hanging out with him. I am learning a lot. My favorite thing about him is that he talks to everybody like they are cool. Even the people that definitely wouldn't make the list of what a lot of us would consider cool. He's figured out something very important, and I can see the results of this attitude taking shape in his life. He is well respected, down to earth, and one of those people that you can't hate. One of those people that if you don't like them, there is probably something wrong with you. This is a guy that models Jesus to me. And I am going to soak as much of that in as possible. With the hope that I too can look at others as better not worse. With the hope that this becomes a default... a natural reaction.