So I have kind of slacked off lately. I haven't been going to church on sunday, I have been snowboarding with my wife. That's right, Kerianne is learning to snowboard. She is doing quite well actually. I'm really proud of her, and am loving the fact that I can share one of my favorite activities with my favorite person. Anyway, my spiritual journey has taken a turn, and my mind has been focused else where than the church right now.
Kerianne and I have been talking a lot about friendship. I miss having friends around, and so does Ker. But I think that she needs friends more than I do at this point in our lives. I really think that she deserves a good friend too. For most of Kerianne's life she has either been the odd man out, or had friends that don't put in the same amount of effort as she does, which always ends up hurting in the end. If God came down and said, "Okay, I pulled some strings up there, and I free'd up one friend... now, you'll meet this person tomorrow in a chance encounter at a stop sign. Just smile and act normal. But i gotta know which person to send...so you gotta decide who is gonna get the new friend... which one of you needs one?" I would say "Give it to Kerianne" without hesitating. As much as i want to meet people and hang out with some men of Godly character, I want that for my wife so much more.
I don't really know why there are certain people who just get dumped on all the time by their friends. Maybe it is b/c their friends sense that they can get away with murder and so they try. Maybe it is b/c their friends sense a need in that other person that makes them uncomfortable. Maybe it is just bad luck. I don't know.
I can relate though. In grade 7, I lost all my friends. I would have done anything to keep them. But they didn't feel that I was cool enough to hang out with anymore. I'm so glad that they felt that way. What a bunch of losers. Seriously, not just the bitterness talking here, I really am over it. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned a lot about what friends were. And then i got real friends. Friends that were there for me when I needed them. Friends that would stick by me in bad situations. Friends that liked me, friends that loved me, friends that respected me. Believe me, I have had great friends.
Thing is, Ker's never had that. I shouldn't say never...there have been a few shiny moments in there. But the people that were those shiny moments are a world away, or might as well be. She can't call any of them and ask if they wanna come over and hang out because it is a 2 day journey.
So, I don't know what this post is about. I just feel like my heart hurts when i think of what an amazing friend Kerianne is and all the crap she has had to deal with because she is not so cowardly to withdraw her heart even after having it stepped on. She still puts herself out there with this easy passion and genuine joy that says to anyone that will listen, "I'll love you". In a world so devoid of authentic love, it is shocking to see how common it is for people to miss this. Or mistreat this. But she gets up every time. She dusts herself off and continues to love. IT is rare for me to see so clear a manifested love than in that of my wife.
~Drifter
3 comments:
Great blog. I was thinking about this the other day. In particular how difficult it is to find friends that last a lifetime. I have a friend that has been close for over 17 years. It struck me the other day, that this is a rare gem. I am becoming more aware in my older age that this risk thing in friendship is far more difficult than what we think. I think Ker is an amazing girl and has to be a great friend to put up with the likes of you. :) Oh you know I'm kidding, but it gets you thinking about how you'd like to knock the crap out of me in a spar! Now that's what friends are for.
Hey Cory,
I quickly wanted to tell you that in my blog about tree planting... that was NOT you. You pushed me that day. I did go faster than I probably would have alone. And even if you didn't, that is a failing point of the metaphor, because people are more important than money. That was one of the best days of my entire tree planting career, and I wouldn't trade it for a $1000 day. I'll comment more later.
Tawmis.
Hey again...
I really feel this one Cory. I really hate hearing this... because I have a pretty good idea of how it feels... you and I have talked about this. To the friend thing all I struggle with is weather it is option A or B:
A)I don't have any close friends because I have closed myself off in some way.
B)I don't have any close friends because this is some kind of time of testing and I have to learn something.
One thing i have learned is that within God, all good things are manifested. So we can have even our needs for friends met. And for those of us who are still single, female companionship needs too.
God's plan is perfect, and I am the first one to doubt it, but I know it is.
I do want to commend the way your putting your wife's needs before yours... the key to a successful relationship from my very limited point of view. I will really pray for you though... this is such a tough thing.
In the meantime, here's maybe a bit of encouragement:
John 16:32.
I will try and give you a call sometime though. see ya.
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